Steve Wilkinson - writer and blogger from the NSW Central Coast
The curtains danced outside the windows of the cold looking cottage, free after seventeen years staring through bars, spider webs and blistering paint at delicious breezes rustling the foliage of cruelly pruned trees, but without ever witnessing the evil rumoured to be lurking outside in the shadows of the nowadays Inside the bedroom an expired [...]
The kids love forgot sit on stairs of spit and chewy amid tarry stains of cigarettes crushed Like their dreams. Not so many years ago they dreamed ordinary dreams extraordinary dreams of the Easter Bunny the Tooth Fairy and a fat guy in a red suit. But with time hard earned promises broken Christmas stockings [...]
Why do oldies behind the wheel of a car drive like they’ve all the time in the world, yet plop ‘em in a mobility scooter in the vicinity of a shopping centre and it’s pedal to the metal and bugger the consequences? You’d swear the Grim Reaper’s hot on their tails with his icy fingers [...]
Among definitions of ‘commuting’ is the following: To make substitution or exchange. So I guess I shouldn’t feel angry that during last week’s train commute, thanks to my fellow passengers and their willingness to exchange communicable illnesses, namely the flu, I’ve now contracted a man cold. God bless their sneezing, wheezing hearts. After all, they [...]
What do you buy the person who has everything? Nothing. F*ck ‘em. They’re either too rich for their own good or pathological hoarders like those lampooned on the television show by the same name. Of course, an alternative to buying them a present is to steal something from them, repackage it and then when their [...]
It’s a sad sad day when we can’t even squash a cockroach without fear of being arrested. Particularly when that roach is dragging its grimy arse around the floor of a fine food establishment like McDonalds. Sadly however, following outrageous news over the weekend that the face of the NRL, our beloved Benji Marshall, has been arrested for [...]
I refer of course to Tiffiny Hall, a shimmering light among the floundering fatties and teary Teletubbies on the latest instalment of The Biggest Loser. You know, much has been said recently regarding the SHEvolution of man – the ripping of feminine talons into the flesh of Aussie masculinity with devastating consequences. A good example: [...]
A tip for parents of teenage boys: if your son asks to sign up for MMA classes, be careful how you respond. For pot smoking hippy parents and those unacquainted with MMA, do not respond immediately with, “Sure, that’d be groovy,” because 1/ he’s probably not referring to Mixed Media Art classes, and 2/ let’s [...]
“… Shiny happy people laughing…” I’ve no idea what inspired the boys from R.E.M to pen these lyrics, but it sure as hell wasn’t a morning or afternoon train commute. Have you caught a train to work lately? Shit – what a miserable way to start the day. Pockmarking the platform are hordes of hapless [...]
As fashionable as they’ve become for celebrities the world over, there’ll be no silly detox or rehab clinics for mixed-up Aussie U.S. actor, Mel Gibson whose new flick, The Beaver, directed by and co-starring Jodie Foster hits cinemas in the UK in February. Instead it’s an absurd, but kinda cute, ‘prescription’ puppet – a beaver – [...]
Today’s relationship advice bought to you by letters ‘A’ & ‘H’ If, after an extended period of inactivity you’ve undertaken a high intensity workout, you’ll know the following morning – when you’re forced to walk like a Thunderbird and refrain from sneezing lest you pop a rib or pee yourself from the pain – that [...]
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